


Judgement

by geekyjez



Series: Isii Lavellan (Non-Canon AUs) [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekyjez/pseuds/geekyjez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas is captured by the Inquisition, his attempts to open a new Breach halted. Isii knows that he will be brought before her for judgment and that there are only two choices - Tranquility or execution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Judgement

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes people send me really evil prompts on tumblr and I just can't say no.

Isii stared out of the window, her body feeling numb. Her hand was pressed to her lips, the dimming light of early evening casting the window’s crosshatching across her face. She could not afford to ignore the others as they addressed her in the War Room, but their presence felt distant. She wanted to crawl into herself, to disappear into the sickening feeling that pooled deep in her belly.

When she sent her people out to find Solas, she never expected it could come to this.

“He was trying to tear open the Veil,” Leliana said sternly. “We cannot just ignore that. Not after Corypheus.”

“I still can’t believe…” Josephine stopped short and Isii could practically hear her shaking her head as she sighed. “Was that truly his plan this entire time? Did he only wish to see Corypheus defeated so he could take his place?”

“Hard to say. He hasn’t said a word since we found him,” Cullen answered softly. “But if we had not interceded when we did…”

“You know this cannot go unpunished, Inquisitor,” Leliana said. “There can be no room for half-measures. He had us all fooled before. We know that even with close observation, he cannot be trusted. We can’t afford to pardon him or offer lenience as you did with Alexius and Samson.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Isii said, her voice hollow and weak. She already knew the answer. She clenched her jaw tightly, eyes closing as the spymaster answered.

“We have to neutralize the threat. We cannot afford to let him go free now that we know his intentions. He disappeared before - and we cannot let that happen again.”

“You want me to kill him.”

The words hung heavily in the air, the War Room falling silent for a time. “Yes,” Leliana said quietly. “Either that, or make it so that he can never use magic to harm the lives of all in Thedas.”

Isii turned, her eyes wet as she stared at the future Divine. “You would have me make him Tranquil?”

She struggled not to crumble under the weight of their eyes as her advisers stared at her, each silent as she wrapped her arms around herself, lowering her gaze.

“You can’t ask her to do this,” Cullen said softly.

“No,” Isii whispered. “She’s right. This is my responsibility. If it were anyone else trying to open a new Breach, I would not hesitate to act. I can’t appear to be biased in this.” The words felt automatic, like they were coming from another person’s mind before passing from her lips. She turned back toward the window, staring out at the last rays of sunlight as night began to fall. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision as she tried to blink them back. “Have him brought before me at dawn. I will pass judgment then.”

* * *

 

She’d been away from Skyhold when they found him. Isii received the report of his capture while she was still out in the field – a piece of paper that she read over and over again, crumpling up only to flatten it once more, the truth of it incomprehensible and inescapable. Solas had disappeared in order to create a new Breach. He would have succeeded had he not been overwhelmed. He’d fought her soldiers, threatening her people with death if they interfered. It was only when they disrupted his ritual that he allowed himself to be taken into custody. Isii didn’t see him when she returned to the keep – taken immediately into consultation with her advisers. It was only now, as Skyhold slept, that she made her way down to the cells, each step weighed down with an ever-growing sense of dread. 

This wasn’t how she wanted to see him again.

He sat in his cell, his elbows resting on his knees as he slumped forward, his head hanging. She tried to keep herself from shaking, sickened by the fact that despite everything he had done her first impulse was to comfort him. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to have him be real to her once more rather than the hollow visions of him the Fade had been showing her since his departure. She had played their reunion over and over again in her dreams. She told him how much she missed him. She told him how she never stopped loving him. She wanted answers, but even more than that she wanted  _him_. Now, though – that could never happen. She knew that it couldn’t. She had to harden herself to that reality.

Seeing him again made all of her resolve fall away.

“Leave us,” she said tersely to the guard who nodded, turning on his heel. Solas remained motionless, staring at the floor as she approached the bars, curling her fingers around them. Neither one of them spoke as she watched him, studying his features. He looked worn. Tired. Defeated. There was a quiet patience to how he sat, not stewing in anger but simply waiting. He was the first one to break their silence, his gaze still not meeting hers.

“Do you intend to speak or simply stare at me?”

Her grip tightened on the bars, her brow furrowing. “Why?” she asked pointedly.

His eyes met her own, the intensity of his stare making her throat clench. “You should never have come looking for me, vhenan.”

“That’s not an answer,” she bit back at him.

“No. It isn’t,” he said simply.

He fell silent then and she bit into her cheek, her knuckles paling against the strain of gripping the bars. “Is this really all I get from you?” He stared back at her, saying nothing. “What was the point of all of this, Solas? Was this ever about stopping Corypheus? Or did you really just want the title of Elder God for yourself?”

She was surprised when he laughed, a harsh and bitter sound. “I have played that game before, da'len. I have little interest in it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you have no concept of what you are talking about.” There was something hard to his tone, so distant from the soft-spoken man she knew him to be. “It means you are meddling in things you do not understand and I was a fool to expect anything better from you than this.”

“Don’t you dare,” she snarled, her eyes growing wet as she gritted her teeth. “Do you know the kind of position you’ve put me in? What did you expect me to do, Solas? You disappeared. Gods, I didn’t even know whether or not you were dead.  I was worried about you. You  _made_ me worry about you. I don’t need your scorn you stupid, ungrateful-”

“Ungrateful?” His eyes narrowed, his voice lowering. “No. The sacrifices that have been made for you, for your people…. Do not talk to me about being  _ungrateful_ ,” he growled. “You think I wanted to be a god? That this was some bid for power and personal glory? You have no concept of how laughable that is. Corypheus was like a child playing with powers beyond his comprehension. Do not compare me to him.”

She pressed her forehead against the bars, her eyes stinging as she tried in vain to steady her breaths. She didn’t want to cry. Not here. Not like this. She heard him let out a slow breath, rising to his feet. She didn’t look up when he approached the bars, the warmth of his hands slipping over her own where she gripped them. She squeezed her eyes shut, her throat clenching, tongue pressed hard to her teeth, trying to hold back tears. Even with everything he had done, she wanted to forgive him.

“I’m sorry, vhenan,” he whispered softly, “for all of this.”

“Did you ever love me?” she asked, struggling to keep her voice from breaking. “Was it real or did you just use me to get to the orb?”

He reached through the bars, his hand gliding over her cheek, the first tears falling as he lifted her head. His eyes were strained and wet as he looked into her own. “Do not ever doubt that I love you. I will  _always_  love you.”

Something in her broke, her breaths shuddering as she shook her head. “Then why? Why are you doing this?”

“To give you the world that you deserve.”

“Creators, Solas. Don’t talk to me in riddles. Just tell me what that means.”

He stroked his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a tear. “It matters little now, sa'lath,” he murmured. “I have failed rather spectacularly in my endeavors. I doubt fate will grant me another attempt.” He squeezed her hand, her fingers shifting to lace them with his own. “What is to become of me, then? I doubt the Inquisition will let me see the outside of this cell.” She shuddered, unable to look him in the eye. “Execution?”

“Or Tranquility,” she whispered, choking on the word. She looked up, quickly shaking her head. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t…” Her voice gave way and she closed her eyes again, a fresh wave of tears pressing through. She lost herself to them, crying as she slid her hand over his, pushing it firmly against her cheek. He guided her forward until her head was pressed against the bars, kissing her brow.

“Ane atisha, vhenan.”

“I don’t want to do this.”

“I know.” She leaned forward, kissing him through the bars. She didn’t care how the metal pressed painfully to her cheeks. She needed to feel him. It wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. When she pulled back there were tears in his eyes and her chest began to ache. “It will be alright, vhenan,” he whispered. She shook her head but he stopped her, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Whatever comes, you will endure.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“As am I.”

She kissed him again before tearing herself away, turning to go. If she did not leave now, she would do something foolish. Each step felt shakier than the last as if her legs would give out from under her. She had to get to her room, shut herself away before she collapsed. She was halfway to the steps when his voice stopped her. “Vhenan.”

She turned to look back, watching him as he stood against the bars, gripping them, his face filled with more sorrow than she had ever seen. She knew the moment she saw the utter completeness of his despair that that image of him would never leave her thoughts.

“Ar lath ma,” he said softly.

She bit back the pain in her chest as she nodded, struggling to speak. “Ar lath ma,” she repeated.

She all-but ran from the room.

* * *

 

She couldn’t sleep. Her eyes were red and swollen, aching from tears as she sat on her balcony, slumped to the ground. There had to be another way. She couldn’t bring herself to do this. But if she pardoned him, how would her supporters see her? They’d say that she was weak, that she had allowed a megalomaniac into her bed, that she was letting her love for him blind her to the fact that he nearly destroyed the world in the same manner as the monster they had just stopped. She couldn’t understand why he was toying with the Veil, but it didn’t change the fact that she loved him. There had to be an explanation for all of this, even if he refused to give her one. The thought of sending him to his death was unbearable.

When Cole came to her, she did little more than draw him to her, burying her face against his chest. He stared at her, his eyes wide and sad and he let her cry, seemingly uncertain what to do. He ran a hand along her back, whispering softly.

“He stayed because he wanted to see you again. He wanted to say goodbye. He doesn’t want you to worry about him. He made your decision for you.”

She pulled back, her brow furrowed. “What?”

“He never wanted to hurt you.”

She scrambled to her feet. “Oh Gods, what did he do?”

“Those bars were never going to hold him.”

She tore across her room, rushing down the steps as Cole scurried behind her. “Isii, wait.” She didn’t listen, running down the length of the empty main hall, her heart pounding as she hurried down the path to Skyhold’s prison. The stairs echoed with the sound of her boots scraping the stone, her breaths catching as she saw the guard sprawled out on the floor. Solas’s cell was empty, the bars still locked firmly into place. She turned on Cole, eyes wide. “Did you let him out?”

Cole shook his head. “I didn’t. I promise.”

She rushed over to the guard, relieved to find the man still breathing. “How did he get out?” she demanded, looking up at the spirit. Cole picked his fingers together nervously, shrugging.

“He was never in any danger from you,” Cole said hesitantly. “He wanted to see you one last time, to give you one last gift. As long as you’re the Inquisitor, you will never see him again. You won’t have to make that choice.”

She buried her face in her hands, her breaths shaking, a confusing mixture of pain and relief washing over her. “Will I see him in the Fade?”

Cole hesitated. “I don’t know.”

She had no idea how she would explain this to anyone. She knew that there would be those who pushed her to double their search efforts, to track him down and drag him back to meet the chopping block. She would make gestures. She would have to. There would be those who already suspected her of letting him go and covering it up no matter what this poor guard claimed happened when he awoke. She couldn’t give their accusation weight by standing by and doing nothing.

But she believed his promise. She would never find him. At this point, it was the best thing she could hope for.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: The ending may seem like a cop out, but I have a hard time believing that the Inquisition would be able to keep the Dread Wolf imprisoned…
> 
> Translation:  
> Ane atisha - be calm, be at peace.


End file.
